Taking on Goliath (And Winning)

  A Vet’s Recovery Schizophrenia Bulletin, Volume 42, Issue 1, published 19 August 2015 https://doi.org/10.1093/schbul/sbv115   I have just passed my 15 year anniversary since being diagnosed with schizophrenia.   Where has the time gone?   Some battles are over after one skirmish, others last a lifetime.   When my diagnosis came,   my life was full of paranoia, delusions, and I was out of control.   I reacted to every overpowering influence with bizarre behavior.   The voices kept me isolated, on guard even when I was trying to sleep.   I was in control of a world that no one else could see or hear.   In truth, I was on a one way street that would only lead to my demise. The last ten years has not been easy.   There have been hospital stays, numerous medications changes, and major lifestyle changes.   All of that has brought me to today where I am in a state of constant recovery.   I am fully aware that recove...

 Pursuing Trust Schizophrenia Bulletin, Volume 46, Issue 2, Published 28 November 2018 https://doi.org/10.1093/schbul/sby173  In my opinion trust is the most important quality to have in any relationship. Whether the relationship is with a boyfriend, girlfriend, teacher or even an auto mechanic, trust should be established early on in the relationship.  For a mental health patient trusting your psychiatrist or psychologist is crucial in recovery. You don’t have to be best friends,  but you should be able to trust whoever is evaluating your progress.  How can you build trust with your doctor?  When I am seeing a new doctor I want to start building trust immediately.  Most of the time my psychiatrist inquires about how my medication is working for me.  He asks me if I am taking the proper dosage and if I am having any symptoms.  If I have others questions that I want to go further in depth about, I usually reserve those questions and commen...

  Senses or Schizophrenia  Schizophrenia Bulletin , Volume 43, Issue 4, July 2017, Page 684,  https://doi.org/10.1093/schbul/sbu192 My last appointment with my psychologist she showed me an article she found online. She seemed eager to see what my opinion was. I was able to read the first paragraph and then I tried to just skim what was on the page. One thing I got from the article was that someone found the map of DNA in schizophrenia. I guess went away thinking maybe they are close to a cure. Also I thought Pharmacology will probably drag their feet with it so they can make more money off the patients suffering with the mental disorder. My doctor was surprised I wasn’t as surprised as she was. The article was blurry and it was hard for me to understand. On a good day I would be able to understand. My doctor thought maybe I needed glasses. She handed me hers, and I put them on. The article was even more blurred. I quickly took them off. “You might need to mak...

 THE SICKNESS IN WRITING Schizophrenia Bulletin, Volume 38 Issue 3, Published 11 October 2011 When Hemingway spoke the words, “Writers are alone,” what did he mean? Did he mean writers are alone in their thoughts, or did he mean that in most cases writers are misunderstood? Or was this his isolationism speaking.  Was he possibly depressed?   What are the underlining factors for those writers whose work we consider great but who seemed to battle mental health concerns?   A writer with a mental illness like me can feel alone and misunderstood.  Worse case scenario is that the writer is not taking the proper medication.  Their writing becomes a handicap, causing them to feel as if they don’t belong or as if there is a dark cloud overhead. Medication may not get rid of the entire cloud, but perhaps make it becomes less dark. I’ve been writing in a journal since the seventh grade. The journaling later inspired poetry and then short stories. Writi...

  Blinders for Coping with Schizophrenia Schizophrenia Bulletin, sbad050 https://doi.org/10.1093/schbul/sbad050              When horses pull a carriage, sometimes they are wearing blinders over their eyes so they cannot look to the right or left. They can only look forward without any distractions coming into their view.   This is a good picture of how I approach my life in recovery from schizophrenia.   Metaphorically speaking, putting on blinders each day is a way I have learned to cope with my diagnosis of schizophrenia.             Every month I go to a veteran’s hospital to get blood work for my medication and to get my monthly injectable. On the drive there, I am the only one in the car so if I hear a voice, I block it out because the doors are locked, windows are up, and I know I am the only one in the car.   If I see a shadowy figure appear ...

  Side Effects Versus Good Mental Health             I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder that is controlled by taking anti-psychotic medication. Currently I take two anti-psychotics, and with that help, I often have symptom-free days. On a symptom-free day I do not hear voices; I do not get paranoid about my neighbors; and I do not experience delusions. I have been told by my doctors that, although I benefit from taking two anti-psychotics, there is a chance for double the side effects. This essay will discuss how I have chosen to prioritize good mental health over the possibility of side effects.             My anti-psychotics can have several side effects. Three of the most common are weight gain, constipation, and lightheadedness.   I know that weight gain can contribute to diabetes. Constipation can feel uncomfortable and being lightheaded can s...