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The Sickness In Writing

 THE SICKNESS IN WRITING Schizophrenia Bulletin, Volume 38 Issue 3, Published 11 October 2011 When Hemingway spoke the words, “Writers are alone,” what did he mean? Did he mean writers are alone in their thoughts, or did he mean that in most cases writers are misunderstood? Or was this his isolationism speaking.  Was he possibly depressed?   What are the underlining factors for those writers whose work we consider great but who seemed to battle mental health concerns?   A writer with a mental illness like me can feel alone and misunderstood.  Worse case scenario is that the writer is not taking the proper medication.  Their writing becomes a handicap, causing them to feel as if they don’t belong or as if there is a dark cloud overhead. Medication may not get rid of the entire cloud, but perhaps make it becomes less dark. I’ve been writing in a journal since the seventh grade. The journaling later inspired poetry and then short stories. Writi...
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Blinders for Coping with Schizophrenia

  Blinders for Coping with Schizophrenia Schizophrenia Bulletin, sbad050 https://doi.org/10.1093/schbul/sbad050              When horses pull a carriage, sometimes they are wearing blinders over their eyes so they cannot look to the right or left. They can only look forward without any distractions coming into their view.   This is a good picture of how I approach my life in recovery from schizophrenia.   Metaphorically speaking, putting on blinders each day is a way I have learned to cope with my diagnosis of schizophrenia.             Every month I go to a veteran’s hospital to get blood work for my medication and to get my monthly injectable. On the drive there, I am the only one in the car so if I hear a voice, I block it out because the doors are locked, windows are up, and I know I am the only one in the car.   If I see a shadowy figure appear ...
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Side Effects Versus Good Mental Health

  Side Effects Versus Good Mental Health             I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder that is controlled by taking anti-psychotic medication. Currently I take two anti-psychotics, and with that help, I often have symptom-free days. On a symptom-free day I do not hear voices; I do not get paranoid about my neighbors; and I do not experience delusions. I have been told by my doctors that, although I benefit from taking two anti-psychotics, there is a chance for double the side effects. This essay will discuss how I have chosen to prioritize good mental health over the possibility of side effects.             My anti-psychotics can have several side effects. Three of the most common are weight gain, constipation, and lightheadedness.   I know that weight gain can contribute to diabetes. Constipation can feel uncomfortable and being lightheaded can s...
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Benefits of Staying On Medication

  Benefits of Staying On Medication Schizophrenia Bulletin, Volume 47, Issue 1, published 11 October 2019             The benefits of staying on medication helps you to be on the path to recovery. It may take some time for your doctor to determine the exact prescription for your needs. There is a possibility that a combination of medications will be the best fit for your situation. For me, it took several months to get the exact prescription to best treat my symptoms.   Do not be surprised if a new and better prescription is offered occasionally. For me a monthly injectable was added to my treatment plan which helped me tremendously. Medicines are available that can reduce the impact of symptoms, increase your independence and quality of life.                   The first benefit I realized about staying on medications happened while I was in a...
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Lessons Learned from Checking the Evidence

  Lessons Learned from Checking the Evidence Schizophrenia Bulletin, sba109 https://doi.org/10.1093/schbul/sbaf109             Last night there were two police cars in the parking lot of my apartment. Being near the police is often a trigger for my paranoia. I have a delusion that the police are waiting for me to run so they can catch me and put me in prison for something I may have done in my late teens and twenties. On this occasion, their blue lights were on, and I could see them outside my window, and I thought they were looking at me.             I continuously looked out my window until finally I went back to watching my TV. I eventually decided they must know where I am so if they want me, they can get me. However, no one knocked on my door or called me. I got swept up in the game show I was watching, and when I went back to the window the police had left. T...
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What I Want My Neighbors to Know About My Schizophrenia

  What I want my Neighbors to Know about My Schizophrenia               I live in an apartment complex in a busy part of my town.   From my second floor balcony, I can see my neighbors coming and going from their jobs, appointments, and other activities.   I don't really know any of my neighbors on a personal level.   I live a rather isolated life except for occasional visits from my family.   So my interactions with my neighbors consist of a polite "Hello, how are you?" or "Have a nice day," exchanges.   I sometimes wonder how they would react towards me if they knew I have a diagnosed severe mental illness.             Most people know that a mental illness involves one's thinking or behavior.   However, people may not know that all mental illnesses can be treated with a combination of medication and/or therapy.   I take antip...
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In Touch with My Surroundings

  In Touch with My Surroundings             When I exercise, I like to listen to music. Like many others, I enjoy walking to the beat of music. The right song or music helps to set a rhythm to my walking. However, recently I have been walking without listening to music, so I will not be distracted and can concentrate on my surroundings. I have schizophrenia which sometimes alters my perception of what is going on around me. When I am not listening to music, I try to use my senses to recognize what is real and to experience what is really going on.             In my neighborhood I do not see “No Trespassing,” signs. It is as if want to encourage people to walk or ride their bikes. It is nice to see kind faces sharing their day with me. Sometimes there is a nice breeze. There are always cars on the road, but it is a pedestrian friendly neighborhood, so they stop for walk...
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