Side Effects Versus Good Mental Health

 

Side Effects Versus Good Mental Health

            I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder that is controlled by taking anti-psychotic medication. Currently I take two anti-psychotics, and with that help, I often have symptom-free days. On a symptom-free day I do not hear voices; I do not get paranoid about my neighbors; and I do not experience delusions. I have been told by my doctors that, although I benefit from taking two anti-psychotics, there is a chance for double the side effects. This essay will discuss how I have chosen to prioritize good mental health over the possibility of side effects.

            My anti-psychotics can have several side effects. Three of the most common are weight gain, constipation, and lightheadedness.  I know that weight gain can contribute to diabetes. Constipation can feel uncomfortable and being lightheaded can stop me in my tracks.  For me, these side effects can be powerful, and I ask myself if it is worth the discomfort I sometimes experience, to be symptom-free from my schizophrenia.  Is it worth the discomfort of anti-psychotics making my mind less schizophrenic, or would I rather be closer to the recommended weight of someone my height?  Would I trade the uncertainty of knowing where the bathroom is located to having a delusion?   Finally, is the inconvenience of having to sit down because I feel slightly lightheaded enough to make me want to give up my antipsychotics? These are questions I ask myself when I wonder about my mental health versus my physical health.  

            I have found some ways to combat the most common side effects of the antipsychotics that I take on a regular basis. I try to combat the side effect of weight gain by maintaining a proper diet and with regular exercise. I exercise about six times a week, and I do my best to not eat chips and sweets. On somedays I wish I could get rid of my belly and have six pack abs, but even when I was in the Army, I did not have six pack abs. So why do I expect that would happen now?  I see muscularly defined people and wish I could be the stereotypical strong muscular man. However, I have two things working against me, weight gain from being on two antipsychotics.  But….it never hurts to dream about being like the Hulk!

            Constipation can be a difficult and uncomfortable subject to discuss.  Knowing and accepting that this can be a side effect is the best way to confront this subject.  I try to combat my constipation by drinking fluids, especially water. Coffee helps too. I do my best to go to the bathroom as often as possible before I begin a workout.  Because I have a strong faith, I sometimes pray to my higher power to help me not have an accident. It has worked so far, but still I can be paranoid about whether there is a bathroom close by. Through honest discussions with my doctor, I have also been prescribed medication that helps with this problem.

            Sometimes I can feel lightheaded as if my brain is floating in air. It is a sensation that I cannot ignore. I immediately grab hold of something or sit down. This happens when I get up too fast or when I am working out.  This sensation has been thoroughly investigated by my doctors through multiple tests with no positive results, so we are left to believe this is a side effect of my antipsychotics.  This feeling goes away when I pause whatever I am doing for a few moments and maybe take a few sips of water.

            Despite the side effects that I experience from taking my anti-psychotics, I have concluded that I can manage these side effects, and by doing so, I can have many symptom-free days. The trade-off is worth it. Without anti-psychotics, I would be dead or in jail. Without antipsychotics, I would not be as close to my parents, my support system, as I am. These are good enough reasons to have a belly, to feel the need to have another cup of coffee, or to just sit down and breathe. With anti-psychotics, I can beat this tortured mind and feel free mentally. 

I have come to think of my antipsychotics as friends.  As in friendships, sometimes we do not agree with each other about everything.  Sometimes we may have arguments, but a friend is there to help, and the benefits of friendship outweigh not having them in my life. My anti-psychotics can have negative effects, but there are ways to compromise and keep them a valuable part of my life.    

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