Facing Negative Symptoms and Side Effects From Psyche Meds

 

Facing Negative Symptoms and Unwanted Side Effects From my Psyche Meds Which are Taken for My Schizoaffective Disorder

 

            My daily routine varies from day to day. Sometimes there are more items on my to-do list than others. I spread my list throughout the week so I will have something to do on any given day. Today might as well have been a free day since the only thing I felt like I needed to do was to take a walk and start a new book on audible.

            I know I cannot predict the symptoms of my schizoaffective diagnosis. Just like I cannot predict the side effects of the medication I take for my mental health diagnosis. Looking back on today, however, I feel like I should have more receptive to my feelings about taking a day off for rest instead of pushing myself to walk when I did not want to do so. I continued my walk, but the feelings of laziness and lack of motivation stayed with me the entire time. I just could not shake them.

            During my walk I tried to think of things to make me motivated even though I felt more fatigued than usual. As my walk progressed, I felt even more useless and out of sorts. Sometimes when I am walking, I engage in mindfulness, or I pray to a higher power. Doing so helps me think of the things that I can do and things that I have in my life. Having gratitude is especially important and puts me in a positive mindset. I am able to pay my rent without the assistance of my parents. I can buy groceries. I had just had a big grocery store run at my neighborhood grocery store the day before. I make and am on time for my appointments at the veteran’s hospital. When I focus on gratitude when I am walking, I can accomplish more.

            My goal daily is to walk for at least an hour. I was able to make that goal while feeling that I might be dehydrated or I had not had enough breakfast. I came home and checked my step counter, and I saw I had almost walked four miles. I wondered how come I did not feel, what I call “jelly legs” when I was walking. It was just my heart and brain. I experience “jelly legs” about an hour after I take my medication in the evenings.

              It clicked finally. I concluded, I ate enough breakfast, and I hydrated by drinking about three glasses of water after coffee. Maybe it was my antipsychotics. I used the handheld library at my fingertips…Google. The side effects of my medication can make one have lightheadedness and dizziness which was exactly what I was feeling during my walk. Sometimes it is important to research your own symptoms and mental illness.

            Luckily, I received a notification on my phone that I had a package to pick up. It was a jazz record by this jazz bassist named Charles Mingus. Listening to jazz has been my drug of choice, the perfect distraction, and a way for me to focus on something besides my symptoms. Jazz was before me, and those classic records will be here after I leave. The rest of the day went well and was relaxing.

  

           

 

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