Avenues of Support

 AVENUES OF SUPPORT

Schizophrenia Bulletin, Volume 45, Issues, January 2019, Page 6

https://doi.org/10.1093/scbul/sbx047 

A person suffering from schizophrenia needs emotional support--a counselor, a doctor, or even a friend or family member who has done some research on this brain disorder.  The conclusion reached after talking to this trusted person may always be the same--I hear, see, and sometimes, even smell, things that are not happening.  These symptoms occur because I have schizophrenia.  Even though I take my medication and try to reduce the stressors in my life, I will still sometimes experience the symptoms.  The difference is in my response to those symptoms.  I don't have to react to them because they are not actually going on in my reality. Sometimes my symptoms feel like a boiling pot that is about to boil over.  In real life, I can turn down the heat, so the water doesn't boil over.

Recently I decided to go to my favorite hamburger place for dinner. This is a place that I go to about once a week.  I gave my order and waited for the number on my receipt to be called. Sometimes while waiting, I am in tune with the conversation circulating around other customers. I can hear numbers being called out, and I can hear the employees calling out the orders.  In this particular instance I thought I overheard one person say, "My dad said that if I prove this exists, then I could become famous."  This is typical of what I might hear in a public place.  If I make eye contact with this person, then they can read my mind; I can read their minds; and we can speak through telepathy.  If someone has a very intense look on his face, I call that "hawk eyes."  And if I make eye contact with this person, then I know we are on the same wavelength.

Another example occurred recently when I thought I could hear the voice of my Section Sergeant from when I was in the Army.  He was telling my neighbors that I was a loser because I didn't go to Iraq and because I was discharged from the Army before my contract was up.  I decided to examine the evidence.  I stood on my balcony that overlooks the parking lot and saw no one that fit my sergeant's description.  Then I opened my front door, and there was no one there.  I was still not convinced that the voice I was hearing was not present.  I decided to call my mom.  She said, "Oh, he is long gone from your life.  He has more important things to think about."  The last time I saw this particular sergeant was 2004....Mom was right.

When I remember that section sergeant, I remember his standing over me while I was being duct-taped by the other soldiers.  He did nothing to help them.  I assumed that he had ordered the taping or hazing.  That fearful experience still haunts me, and plays into my thoughts almost every day.  I cope with those thoughts by:  having someone that I trust to talk to; by checking the evidence; by doing a double take--look, then look again, to be sure it's not going on-do I see lips moving; and by decreasing the stressors--eat, sleep, exercise.  

I have some peculiar symptoms in my life because I have a diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder.  I am learning to deal with these symptoms, but I am not alone.  Not only my fellow mental health consumers, but my doctors, and especially my parents, have a very important role to play in my day to day struggle.